Gladys Staines, an Australian missionary, was recently awarded India's second-highest civilian honour. She speaks on her return to India and the death of her husband and children, killed by religious extremists in 1999.

Staines was given the Padma Shri in recognition of her work with leprosy patients in Orissa. She decided to continue helping here even after her husband, Graham, and their two sons—Philip, 10, and Timothy, 8—were burned alive as they slept by an extremist Hindu mob.

Staines stayed in India to oversee completion of the 40-bed Graham Staines Memorial Hospital. In July 2004, she left in order to rest and returned only for a month to collect the award.

Calling from God

"I knew again that I have a huge family in India," she told BBC World Service's Everywoman programme.

"Though I don't have an immediate family and I do miss them, I've got so many people across India who are like family to me.

"We managed to build and to commence a hospital for people affected by leprosy in the name of my husband. He had already planned that before he died, so people felt that was a fitting memorial."

In total, Staines spent more than 20 years in India, in one of the country's poorest states. She said it was here that God "called me to work for him.”

She left India last year to spend more time with her 91 year-old father and her teenage daughter who wants to study in an Australian university. She insisted upon departure that she held nothing against the people of India—which she reiterated on her return to the country.

She recalled how, after the violent death of Graham and their two sons, people had poured in "from all over India—they said they wanted to come and give their condolences and comfort."

"Along with that came donations—for my own personal expenses, for the leprosy home, and then personal gifts—lots of people gave me saris, which is apparently the traditional thing."

Staines said their generosity extended to asking her forgiveness for their countrymen, and asking her to stay in India to continue her work. "That was such a huge encouragement to me," she said.

If we don't forgive men of the wrong that they do, then how can we be forgiven?
Gladys Staines

The 1999 killing was condemned around the world. Following a judicial inquiry, Hindu activist Dara Singh was sentenced to death, while 12 others were sentenced to life imprisonment.

However, Staines emphasised that she has “maintained from the beginning that [she has] forgiven them.”

"I feel sorry for them in a sense—that they should actually do something like this. I know that some of them did it not really knowing what they were doing—they were told to come and help cause a disturbance.

"But the people who engineered it—it's like any extremism, any fanaticism. You just get to the point where you're not acting rationally anymore. In that sense you feel sorry for the people as much as anything else."

Staines stressed the importance of forgiveness, referring to Christ on the cross who said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

"If we don't forgive men of the wrong that they do, then how can we be forgiven?" she asked. "I've been hearing of other Christians who have been suffering persecution and how they actually forgive those who have done something wrong to them.

"Altogether, I think if we don't forgive, and hold grudges against people, then it affects us, creates bitterness in our own life."